8/17/15

Getting up that morning wasn’t like any other, as through the night my eyelids wouldn’t rest and my stomach wouldn’t stop churning. Having the day and night before with one of my favorite persons in this world was a blessing, but made it that much harder to calm the activity going on inside my body. I had had nervous feelings before, but this didn’t compare; the feelings wouldn’t subside and once the lights came on at 4am, I couldn’t tell where those feelings belonged. I was so excited to start my journey into something new, into a great challenge that I knew was going to be life changing, but nervous for every change in between.

I remember packing odds and ends, making sure my luggage—which could have fit my entire body—was going to make it through the airport check in without charging me the equivalent to my monthly stipend. I got every luggage ready, wheeled out of my mother’s house—my closest feeling to home—and headed for the door. Seeing the street lamps and sitting under the dark sky, I knew something big was about to happen, because its not as if my mind could make sense of anything at that very moment with every emotion ready to take over.

A caravan and 7 people to see me off, we all waited patiently in a line of 30 people; thank you airline for having one representative. The clock kept ticking and once we made it to the counter, sure enough, it happened, “do you think you could take 7 pounds out of that luggage?”. So once again I was emptying my belongings in the middle of the airport. Even though I contemplated for weeks on what ‘I needed and wanted’, I wasn’t done making those decisions. Soon enough I got to 50 pounds, they took my luggage and it was now time to say goodbye.

There would have never been enough time to say goodbye to 7 people in my life who have stuck by my side through every storm, every change, every emotional roller coaster, but 7 minutes will have to do. Right in the center, I started from one side and went around the circle. The tears formed and I couldn’t quite gather what was happening still. But as I wheeled my carry on through the desolate airport of Des Moines, making it to the escalator where we were to part, I looked back at my ‘posse’ for the last time, took one breath, and then my stomach finally stopped; I was on my way.

Airplanes always make me happy, I never know if its the traveling, the idea that I’m independent and on my way to something, or that I’ll always get that rush, giddy feeling when the airplane turns on its motor and you feel as though your body is going to sky rocket, but I couldn’t help but smile with my earbuds in and know I was finally on foot to my next adventure.

The sky couldn’t have been any more beautiful when we were ready to take off, “You are truly loved my friend, take a look at the sky”, my best friend texted me. And was she ever more right, it was as if someone was finally able to bleed out and burst with color, burst with happiness—that I was finally where I needed to be. I felt as if someone was telling me that what I was doing was miraculous and amazing already.